Doing Battle with My Lions

Since the onset of my "lion chasing," God has taken me through thoughts and emotions that I don't often like to visit. After some rough events in my personal life, Jesus has shown me some baggage that i've been carrying around and, thanks to His grace, He is stripping it away and revealing new life in me. During the past month, i've come closer than ever before to having a nervous breakdown. Sure, I wanted to blame it on a damaged personal relationship, but I see now that the process God has begun in me really has nothing to do with the person at the other end of this conflict.

In fact, God used a blow to my family as a wake up call to me. I was forced to ask myself questions like, Is God really in control? Does He really want what's best for me? Would God really want me to have to go through this? To tolerate this hurt in my life? The answer to all of it is, Yes. God does care, he is in control, he does have a perfect plan for my life. But in my little tiny existence, that was beginning to center on me, I had forgotten something very important. God uses trials in our lives to shape our character. I had become selfish, prideful and unforgiving, to name a few. Jesus has lovingly shown me that I cannot please everyone, nor can I do everything that needs to be done. He has given me rest for my soul during this crazy busy time in my life, as a Pastor's wife, Mother of four, and college teacher.

I will continue to chase the lions God puts in my path. It turns out that my own sinfulness was the first lion I had to chase down into a pit and put to death. I am crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. I can't say it's a comfortable time in my life, but I can say that God is actively at work in my heart and life and i'd rather have that any day.

Becoming a Lion Chaser

I'm reading a book by Mark Batterson called, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. The book is based on 2 Samuel 20-21 about Benaiah, who later became the captain of King David's guard. Included in his short resume is the line, "Another time he chased a lion down into a pit. Then, despite the slippery ground, he caught the lion and killed it."(Batterson 9-10) The author goes on to describe what a crazy and terrifying experience this must have been for Benaiah, and also the absurdity of his chasing the lion in the first place, considering the high probability of death. The application for you and I is brilliant, though. Batterson explains how the biggest, most ferocious lions in our lives can also be the best opportunities given to us by God. But we each have a choice to make. Will we be courageous like Benaiah, take the risk, and experience the life change that God desires for us, or will we shrink from risk just to stay comfortable?

I, for one, am tired of being comfortable. I am ready to chase whatever lion God has for me. For the past two years God's hand has been heavy upon me to discover why I am here. I have long known about my inherent worth in God's sight, but I still struggled to find meaning in the things I do, such as having a family, education, work, and ministry. Dr. Katie Brazelton's book, Praying for Purpose and the accompanying Prayer Journey have been instrumental in my discovery of God's unique purpose for my life. I cannot help but proclaim that God can be trusted, and my main audience is women of varying spiritual stages. My desire is for women to know their full worth in Jesus Christ and to scale whatever wall stands before them so that they might behold the beauty of their unique footprint on this earth for the glory of God.

Today I had the privilege of speaking with Dr. Brazelton about becoming a Life Coach through Life Purpose Coaching Centers International. God has brought me here and I choose to chase my lion. I will never know what God has in store for me if I do not move forward in obedience to Him. He has proved to me over and over that He can be trusted and though the ground may get slippery, I know Jesus will direct my steps.

Answered Prayers

After I finished my Master's degree last summer I wondered about what I would do to scratch the itch I have for learning. I had applied for many different jobs, not entirely sure that I wanted one, with no replies. Then one day, I got a call from a college an hour away wanting me to teach some English classes. I decided to give it a shot. After all, it was only a 10 week commitment if I ended up hating it. I began teaching in September and I am still at it nearly five months later. Teaching has been extremely demanding, but so rewarding as well. One of my biggest challenges has been managing my time between family, work, and the ministries i'm involved in. This continues to be a challenge, but I feel like i'm getting the hang of it. I have stayed home with my four great kids for the past seven years and I have always asked myself if I would ever use my education outside the home. I always said it would be okay if I didn't, but I have to admit to always having that itch. Now that my itch is getting scratched regularly, I see it as an answer to prayer. The God who made me to be this way provided me with this opportunity at just the right time. About one month after I began working, my husband, who is a bi vocational pastor, was let go from his additional job as a result of the failing economy. We were already receiving additional income before we even knew we would need it. God is good. We can never see the fullness of His plans, but I continue to learn over and over that I can trust Him with my life. In the words of a Christian Author, He gives us, "just enough light for the step we're on."